« Heh. | Home | Make It Stop »
The Beginning
By Tonya Jone Miller | September 28, 2009
So since I need to do a metric fuckload of writing, most of it just stream of consciousness explorations, I figure I can kill two birds with one stone and make blog entries out of my musings…
This hole inside me started small. A dull ache in the pit of my stomach, a tiny pin prick in my heart. It grew, as I did, and as did my awareness of the absence of my father. It became a hole the size of a man that somehow fit inside my teenage body. And then who I was encompassed that lack. The hole defined me. Exotic, mysterious, unknown. More and more of my history was swallowed up by the emptiness. I learned to take comfort in the isolation. I could retreat into the hole, and it would protect me. No one could touch me there. If I could not define it, certainly nobody else would be able to even find it, my secret place. Me. And the uncertainty was better than the knowing. The hole grew. It expanded until it was the size of an entire country. One half of me, all of me, none of me. Vietnam.
Topics: My Life | No Comments »