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Eh
By Tonya Jone Miller | February 19, 2009
Fucksticks. There is so much going on in my head right now, I hardly know where to start…
It has been so long since I haven’t been working on a show. As I put it to someone yesterday, I have to be me 100% of the time now. Lol, but true. My brain adjusts to accommodate characters I’m playing, and part of me goes into a sort of hibernation. But now I’m settling back into Tonya, and that means all the stuff I haven’t been dealing with is surfacing.
It’s not all bad, it just requires introspection and processing. I’m almost 34 years-old. That sounds so weird to say. Today I saw a friend I’ve known since I was 18, and we couldn’t help taking a short trip down memory lane. Seems like I’ve been doing that a lot the past week and a half.
Mostly, I’m just remembering people and places and events in my past. Mourning those possibilities that once were but are no longer, while at the same time celebrating the new doors that have opened in my life. I am so grateful for the life I am living now, yet I cannot help but miss certain things and particular people that simply have no place in my world now. I guess that’s part of “growing up” huh?
Damn. I had every intention of writing and in-depth analysis of all the issues I’m currently dealing with, but I just don’t want to. Sometimes I wonder who the fuck wants to read the minutiae of my life anyway? Who the hell am I? Still figuring that one out. Heh.
Topics: My Life | 2 Comments »
March 7th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Trips down memory lane with old friends are important in life. All of those possibilities that once were but are no longer is what has opened the new doors in your life. If those possibilities became realities, your life wouldn’t be what it is today….if that makes sense.
You wonder “who the fuck want to read the minutiae” of your life..my answer to that is the people who are on the other side of those doors that opened in your life.
Who the hell are you? My opinion….which may not be a fair opinion but here it is anyways. You are a person that has been very impactual to many people in many ways you don’t even know. You are the person that devotes her time to things she loves, which brings alot of joy to many people.
You are a good person and those people whose lives you have touched, enjoy you as a person and enjoy seeing (reading) you succeed in life.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
[...] the Universe to nudge me out of my wallowing. *smile* Today I got a very sweet comment from an old friend on my recent “Eh” post. It made me cry. It was exactly what I needed [...]