A few Sundays ago, I went to an audition for play called ”After Ashley” by Gina Gionfriddo.  It is being produced by a brand new local theatre company, Portland Playhouse.  I got great vibes from the people at the audition and was expecting a call-back, which I got the following Wednesday.  Unfortunately, it was for Thursday, and I still had Prelude to a Kiss performances so was unable to go.  I figured that meant I was out of the running, but lo and behold, there in the audience at PtaK on Friday night were the director and some other folks from the theatre company.  He took the trouble to write me an email that night after the show to let me know they were still considering me for the title role and I would hear from them early the next week (last week). 

Monday, he called and asked me to come in on Wednesday to read again.  I picked up the first scene and spent two days working on it.  I absolutely fell in love with the character and was a complete wreck about getting the part.  I felt great about my read on Wednesday, but I knew they were looking seriously at someone else too.  But when I left, the director walked me outside, gave me the rest of the script and a rehearsal schedule (a good sign, right?), and told me he’d call me the next day (last Thursday) with their final decision.

I barely slept that night and was trying to keep from imploding the next day.  I don’t know how I missed his phone call, but when I listened to my messages, my heart sank…”This is a really hard call for me to have to make.”  He went on to say some very nice things about me, but the bottom line was that they’d offered the part to the other person.  Well of course I cried my eyes out for about ten minutes, pulled myself together, and made the obligatory, professional keep-me-in-mind-for-future-projects phone call.  I then called my friend, Ingrid, and begged her to distract me.  One pedicure and three glasses of wine later, I’d almost gotten over my initial upset when my cell phone rang.  It was the director, asking me if I’d be willing to share the role with the other actress.  In shock, I agreed, just so happy to get any chance to play the role at all.

But then I started thinking about the logistics…How would being double-cast work?  Who would rehearse when?  How would it affect the other actors?  Would I get relegated to all the weekday or afternoon performances?  We couldn’t be expected to parrot each other, so essentially it would become two different plays.  I called him back the next day, needing reassurance that I’d be an equal partner in the role, not just a stand-in.  He said all the right things, but I couldn’t shake my sense that I’d made a bad decision.  I spent the weekend agonizing over it.  Plus, this was all going on during the closing weekend of Prelude to a Kiss, AND I had my sister staying over, which as much as I love her, kind of disrupts our work life.

I wanted the part so badly.  It’s such an amazing play, and even though it’s a relatively small role (only really appears in the extended opening scene), it’s a powerhouse.  Getting to be Ashley half the time would be better than not at all, right?  I tried so hard to convince myself of that.  But I also try hard not to lie to myself, and I know my weaknesses, both as a person and as an actor.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized I just couldn’t do it.  When I commit to a role, I give 200%.  I have to know my director is behind me at least 100%.  Lol, but true.  I’d always feel second-best.  I’d be afraid to speak up, to fight for my ideas, because I wouldn’t feel the role was MINE.  It’s one thing to be the second choice, but to be given the role outright.  It’s entirely another beast to know you are the second choice and to have to act next to/in tandem with the first choice.  I just didn’t see how that environment would be conducive to me turning in quality work on a role that deserves it.

Which is what I told the director when I called to decline the role.  That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.  But as soon as I hung up, I felt this incredible sense of relief, so I knew I’d made the correct choice.  As Howard put it, “that’s the only time I’ve ever seen you so unhappy about getting a part.”  I was really bummed, but he was right.  I told them I’d be happy to step in if things didn’t work out with the other actress, but that I would be doing everyone a disservice to go along with the double-casting.  I’m not the best at saying no.  I always want to make everyone happy.  But I was proud of myself.  I know my worth, and I was willing to lose out on a choice part rather than be in what for me would have been an untenable position. 

But there’s something amazing that happens when you do the right thing…I did the right thing for me, and I can’t help but feel like the Universe rewarded me for being willing to make a sacrifice.  I apologize if I sound grandiose, but it is a small and simple truth I keep being reminded of…You must stand behind your word; you must stand up for the things you believe in.  See, the next day I got another call…They offered me the entire role!  Talk about up and down- I feel like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for weeks now.  I don’t know why or how or what happened with the other actress, and I don’t really care.  Rehearsals start tomorrow, and I have a job to do…

YAY!!!

I love it when people search for “tonyajonemiller.com” instead of just…uhhhh…entering it as the URL. That happens more than you’d expect, and the optimist in me hopes it’s just an accidental mistake (i.e., the person didn’t realize he/she was typing it into the search bar instead of the URL bar) rather than an accurate representation of the average level of common sense. Although I guess not knowing your search bar from your URL bar doesn’t exactly bode well either. Lol.

There are a bunch of terms one would expect to appear on the list…
“phone sex”
“phone sex actress”
“Bay City Blues phone sex”
“tonya jone miller”
“tonyajonemiller”
“phonesex courtesan”

Then there are those that make me chuckle…
“fuck the pain away” actress (I listed the lyrics to the Peaches song once I think.)
“i go barefoot” (Wtf??? This search has brought 5 visitors in the last month alone!)
“curling iron masturbation” (Ummm, I’ve stuck a lot of things up there, but that isn’t one of them.)
“pantyboy wearing phone tease” (How exactly does one wear a pantyboy?)
“porn actress sweat” (Ewwww.)
“pornotroll” (Just sounds funny.)
“her cock is massive” (Hope that person wasn’t disappointed. Heh.)
“come preparare le prugne giubellate” (I’m guessing that’s French, but how the hell it brought them here, I’ll never know.)

I have to admit “complaints about tonya jone miller” kind of baffled me. I mean, when I stop and think about it, I’m sure plenty of people have complaints about me. That’s what happens when you speak your mind, and I’m willing to accept that. I just wonder who would search for that specific term and why it would lead them to my site. Shouldn’t it take them to TonyaJoneMillerSucks.com or some forum board where people bitch about me for outing the PSO business? When I tried to search the same phrase on a couple different engines, I got my own site but none with specific complaints about me in the first four or five pages of results I bothered to scan through. *shrug* I just think it’s kind of hilarious what random terms lead people here…

So Prelude to a Kiss closes this Saturday night, and while I’ve enjoyed the experience, I think I’m ready for it to be over. I’d really like a bit more challenging role to sink my teeth into, and I’m still waiting to hear back on that audition. They gave me a callback like I was expecting, but I couldn’t go because we were performing that night (Thursday). However, they came to see PtoK on Friday night and sent me an email afterward, letting me know I’m still in the running. A good sign, right? I’m supposed to hear by “early this week” which I figure means by Wednesday night. I’m on tenterhooks. If I don’t get it, I’ll be annoyed for about five seconds and then get over it and enjoy a little break and having more time to myself. But I want it dammit. Lol.

Now I’m going to go have some fun. I’m not sure what that will entail, but I intend to enjoy myself immensely. *smile*

The play is going quite well.  Honestly, my part is so small that there’s not a whole lot for me to do.  It’s a fun character but I wouldn’t call her challenging.  The audiences so far have been responding well, though reviews are somewhat mixed.  The script verges on cheesy, which all of the critics so far have noted, but I think the cast is doing great with the material.  I’m getting to work with some truly talented folks, so that’s always a plus- I never turn down an opportunity to learn from my peers. 

Also had an audition last night that went very well, and I’m totally expecting a callback.  Plus I signed up for a scene study class on Saturday mornings that starts this week, and I absolutely cannot wait to get back in an acting/learning environment like the one I was a part of in NYC.  This isn’t quite the same thing, but it’s close and will have to do for now.  I will say it’s nice, now that I’ve done a few shows here, to be building a support network for myself of other actors and creative types.  It is definitely a unique experience to create a work of art or a performance piece and then present it to the world, and it helps sometimes to be around other people who understand what that’s like.  Not that I’m a Tortured Artist or anything…Lol…

Anyway, things are settling down a bit now.  It looks like we may finally get call extensions back at Bay City Blues, which would be tremendous (and probably require endless test calls and trouble shooting *sigh*).  And we’ve managed to hire a couple of sexy new girls too!  I always feel a little behind when I’m doing a show, but thankfully my delicious callers have been very patient and understanding.  And I don’t feel quite as bad, knowing how many lovely ladies are available in my stead, should the phone sex urge prove overpowering.  Lol.  But now I have a few days off and intend to spend them decadently and deviantly.  Perhaps I’ll even have a new hot story or two to tell afterward…*wink*

Oooh, did I mention that we bought a quarter-season ticket package to the Blazers?  I am so totally psyched!  I’ve never had season tickets before, and I’m a long-time basketball fan.  Plus, I want to see if Oden really can mesh with this team and take us into the playoffs.  I know Howard has his doubts, but for all his assimilation, he’s still not a true Portlander…Which is to say, he forgets they are his only local professional sports franchise so he might as well be unrealistically optimistic like the rest of us co-dependant Blazers fans have learned to be.  Lol.

I’m very happy with the feedback I’ve been getting on the new Bay City Blues phone sex website too.  It invites the girls to blog more and interact with our clients off the phone, which I’ve always thought makes for a better experience on the phone.  And people seem to like the design and format, which makes all those hours of nitpicking seem worth it now.  Heh.  We’ve also been getting a ton of applications and welcomed a new girl, Michelle, this week.  I hope to add even more sexy ladies to the BCB family soon…

Ok, I’m off to run lines…Have a lovely weekend!

In other news, I’m seriously considering going to Summer Camp for Grown Ups.  Doesn’t it look like a whole bunch of naughty fun?  I’m realizing that I still have a lot to learn about bdsm and alternative lifestyles.  As open-minded and creative as I am, I definitely feel like more real-time experience only makes me even better on the telephone.  So I can totally rationalize spending the money.  Hehehe!  I haven’t decided yet, because I’m really hoping to hear back about that audition, and I’m pretty sure the production dates conflict with camp.  We’ll see…

I could probably babble on about inconsequential bs (don’t I always?  Lol!), but instead I’m going to have a glass of wine, wander around the new website, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.  In honor of the new design we’re offering 25 minutes for the price of 20 with any sexy BCB vixen, so click here for more details and join me in my den of deviance…

“I posted your entire comment, including your IP number, to show you I am not afraid of people who are too chickenshit to use their real name and face to back up their words.  Words which, no matter how hard you try, you are never going to be able to hurt me with.  All you do is expose your bitterness and how judgmental you are about sexual behavior.  Do you think callers find that appealing?  You really want to keep this up?  You’re showing everyone why we got rid of you and proving it was the right decision.  It’s time to move on.”

I can’t decide whether to block the IP or not, but I’m leaning toward not.  It’s really kind of flattering that someone who was so marginally involved in my life for such a short time feels compelled to read and comment on my blog.  And it is mildly amusing to sit back and let someone dig their own hole without knowing it, but it’s sort of like the “bad audition” episodes of American Idol…I feel so sorry for them that it gets painful to watch.  In the end, I’ll probably just ignore future comments or delete them, both to spare my more amenable readers the drama and hopefully because if I do, this person will get tired of not seeing her words in print and decide to find a new target. 

Enough.  There are so many more interesting and important things to talk about.  Like the brand new Bay City Blues phone sex website, which will be debuting tomorrow!  We’ve known we wanted to change to a blog format for a while now, because it’s a snap to maintain and great for SEO.  Most importantly, it will be easier to navigate.  I’m very proud of the site as it is now, with all its and bells and whistles, but I think we made it a little too flashy.  According to our webstats, only about one quarter of people click through to a girl’s second profile page, which contains almost all of her personal info, favorites, etc.  Most call (or not) based on the first page, which only has pictures, links, and phone sex specialties.  That’s just one example, but I could give you more. 

So we decided to simplify.  Which is not to say we are going to be less involved.  On the contrary, what we hope is that the new design facilitates more interaction amongst all of us BCB babes and our clients.  Tomorrow afternoon/evening the website will be offline for a couple of hours while we work on the change-over, but you can still make a phone sex call during that time.  Just check your favorite girl’s personal blog if you use click2call, or dial dispatch at 1-866-739-9832  to see which sexy girls are available.  I can’t believe we’re finally getting this done.  Yay!

It’s the time of year when theater companies cast their upcoming season of plays, so I’ve also been going to quite a few auditions in the past weeks.  Two callbacks already, but no roles yet.  Had a great audition last night which I’m really hoping to get a callback for.  I’m not familiar with the play, but the people involved had great energy, it’s at a theater close to home, and I am ready for another challenge.   I’m going out for anything and everything I’m even remotely appropriate for, just to keep my chops up, and I have three more auditions scheduled in the next couple of weeks.  You hear me, juicy role?  I’m talkin’ to you.  You will be mine…

And I’m super psyched, because Chef Crush got posted on PortlandFood.org and has been getting a ton of hits and quite a few crush suggestions!  And no, I didn’t post it myself.  Lol.  I had been wondering if anyone would, but I was afraid people would get offended by it.  Don’t ask me why- personally, I think it’s pretty harmless, but people take themselves too seriously sometimes.  Anyways, it seems we’re a hit, so I can stop worrying and get back to my foodie obsession.  I can see it now…Ingrid and I will have a tv show where we travel around the world, crushing on international cuisine.  There will be a book to accompany the website, a full-length feature film, Crush Girl action figures, breakfast cereal, and more!  Total crush domination is guaranteed.  Heh.

*smiles*  Life is damn good.  Thank you.  I’m going to hop into the shower now.  Howard and I are going to the Portland International Beer Festival this afternoon, but I’ll be available this evening for your phone sex pleasure.  In the meantime, might I suggest Arrested Development, Look At My Striped Shirt!, or one of my sexy colleagues to entertain you?

Ok, what is it about lighting things on fire and watching them explode in a shower of pretty colored sparks that turns grown people into giddy children?  I am no exception- I was hopping around like a five year old, lighting every fuse I could get my hands on.  Lol.  We went up on the roof terrace once they started the downtown fireworks display over the river.  The bridge is sort of in the way, but you can see enough that it makes the idea of battling the real crowds very distasteful.

Anyway, we enjoyed ourselves immensely, and I can see this becoming an annual event.  We actually managed to work through most of the food, although we’ll be probably be eating burgers and dogs for the next month.  Lol! 

Now I’m focusing on a couple of auditions I have coming up, including one tonight.  This is the time of year that theater companies begin casting their season of plays, and I’ve been going to a few auditions a week.  Usually I’m lucky to find one audition every two weeks, so I have to take advantage of the opportunities when they’re available.  But it does take me away from Bay City Blues, not just for the actual auditions, but also for the prep and primp time needed before each one.  And that means less time to harass the designer to hurry up with our new site design, less time to find and hire quality girls, and most annoyingly, less time for hot, nasty phone sex kink with my favorite deviants.  Grrrr! 

The good news is that some of my online absence can be explained by offline excitement!  With Howard’s blessing, I am actively seeking some play partners for more extensive bdsm exploration and erotic stimulation.  Not only do I desire to learn and experience more, but I believe empirical knowledge is necessary to provide the finest phone sex service.  The study and sharing of pleasure is truly part of my life’s work.  Thankfully, Howard understands and supports this.  I don’t know that I could do it without his full consent.  Once upon a time, I would have, but our relationship and life partnership has become much more important to me than I ever expected.  Fortunately, I do not have to sacrifice our intimacy for continued sexual exploration and growth.  I am a very lucky woman.  *big grin*

And a very hungry girl.  I had better go eat something soon, because it’s never good to go to an audition with a full stomach…Hmmm, perhaps I’ll stumble on a chef crush…

My birthday meal itself was spectacular.  I suppose I could post the menu but it would just make you drool on your keyboard, so I’ll spare you.  I will tell you it was concocted by three of the most well-respected chefs in town and was absolutely worth the spendy ticket (which went to charity anyway). 

I’m also rocking a brand new smile, courtesy of Howard.  See I’ve always had these gaps in my teeth.  It never really bothered me in a cosmetic sense, but I’d been told by a speech therapist that my lisp/lateral ess would be easier to control if the gaps were closed.  Diction and enunciation (especially my S’s) are a constant struggle for me onstage, and I have been flat out told that I lost roles due to my voice.  Which is pretty fucking hilarious when you think about it, seeing as how I’ve supported myself with that same voice for the past four and a half years.  *shrug*  But it was something I became self-conscious about and felt affecting my acting, so I decided to get my teeth fixed.  And Howard the darling decided that would be my birthday present this year!  So if you get grossed out by dentistry, sorry…

Before, Left Side                     Before, Right Side
 

Before, Front                          After, Front
 

After, The Big Picture

I think the weirdest thing is getting used to how it feels to have teeth where there were spaces before.  And I’m having to completely re-train my tongue to make certain letters/sounds, which is really hard.  But I love the way it looks, and more importantly, I can hear the difference in my voice already.  I have a ton of auditions coming up, so hopefully people will notice.  Actually, I guess what would be better is if they don’t notice and say nothing.  Lol!

Saturday night I performed a comedy bit at the Masturbate-a-Thon in front of a crowd I would estimate to be 2-300 people.  God, I get such horrible stage fright when I’m going off the cuff like that.  Give me a script and I’m confident as hell, but stand-up/improv is truly terrifying.  Which is probably why I do it.  Hehehe.  Anyways, I think I did ok, although I’m always my own harshest critic.  Definitely got some laughs.  My biggest problem was the volunteer I got from the audience.  He was way more into trying to look clever or get me to jerk him off than in actually playing along as if it were a phone sex call, which was what I was aiming for.  *shrug*  Live and learn, I guess.  I really want to do more of this kind of thing, but I’m still finding my comedy legs so to speak, and I need more practice.  Of course the only way to get more experience is to just DO, so I imagine I’ll pursue more gigs like this in the future.

In addition to this, we’ve been working with the webdesigner on a new logo and site design, and I think we’re finally honing in on what it is we want. No peeks yet, but I assure you it’s going to make Bay City Blues easier to navigate and add some fun new features. Also have been enjoying myself tremendously with some deliciously deviant phone sex friends, old and new. I think I’m supposed to be hitting my sexual peak right about now- that’s what “they” say, right? Women hit their sexual peak in their thirties? Apparently everything before now was just building up to this point. Damn. I mean, DAMN. You guys better watch out. *wink*

The whole situation still upsets me when I think about it.  For so many reasons.  First of all, they financially forced us to conform to their beliefs and limitations.  They don’t tell restaurants what to serve or department stores what to sell, even though some of those foods and products are the direct result of animal cruelty and/or inhumane labor practices.  Bookstores sell books about genocide, rape, and other assorted atrocities.  But we’re not supposed to talk about it, simply because we sell phone sex between two consenting parties of legal age. 

What’s the big deal, you ask?  A lot of adult businesses use “cheat” credit card accounts and aren’t quite being honest about their goods/services.  But try to legally process credit cards for an adult, web-based business, and you can prepare for an arduous process akin to a papal election.  Howard has run many businesses, been a member of the NJ bar and a trader on the stock exchange, and has excellent credit.  It took him over two years to get us our own merchant account for Bay City Blues phone sex, and we are lucky to have it.  The application was 60 pages of personal information and financial history.  After all that, the bastards can still arbitrarily decide to censor our speech.  Obviously, we have to be able to run credit cards.  We had no choice but to comply.

Second, do they really think that by sweeping these things under the rug they can make them disappear?  People have kinky sex and perverted dreams.  The whole point of phone sex, in my eyes, is to give people an outlet for the fantasies they cannot act upon in “real” life, for whatever reasons.  Maybe what they want to do is illegal or harmful, and being conscientious human beings, they would never really break the law or hurt anyone.  Maybe the fantasy is not anatomically possible or involves imaginary creatures/beings.  Maybe the fantasizer is physically handicapped or socially awkward and is able to interact less awkwardly on the telephone.  The point is, when we as a society marginalize those we simply do not understand, we turn normally law-abiding citizens into criminals and force them underground where they are more likely to financially contribute (consciously or not) to human trafficking and the illegal sex trade.

Here’s where I’m going with this…I have a ton of American Dad, Simpsons, and Family Guy episodes recorded on my dvr, and I often put them on in the background while I’m working at the computer.  One thing I can’t help but laughing about is what they get away with on those shows.  I noted overt references to pedophilia, bestiality, and incest in just one episode of the Family Guy.  A caller of mine told me the show is banned in a lot of countries, which I didn’t know but which doesn’t surprise me at all.  They get away with murder, saying things on prime time network television that we cannot even refer to on an adult website.  The inequity of it would piss me off a lot more if I didn’t strongly believe that SOMEONE needs to be testing and poking fun at the easily offended who insist upon inflicting their morals and values on others.  Denying the validity of others’ beliefs, thoughts, and fantasies- to me, THAT is one of the most truly offensive and de-humanizing things a person can do.

Now I’ll get off my soapbox.  *chuckle*  I have to work on my piece for the Masturbate-a-thon, which is coming up in less than two weeks.  I’ve decided what angle to take and just need to work on the details.  I’m really looking forward to this performance!  Also have a few auditions coming up.  I’m feeling pretty rested, and it would be nice to do another play soon.  But I’m getting ahead of myself, as I am wont to do.  In my immediate future is an elliptical machine, a hot shower, and happy hour with my friend Ingrid tonight…Hopefully followed by some seriously perverted, non-bank-sanctioned phone sex.  Heh.

I’m working on a redesign of the main Bay City Blues phone sex website. This is the first time I have attempted anything of this scale, and it’s much more complicated that making the kind of blogsites I’ve been doing for the other BCB girls. Obviously there are a ton of pages, plus there are scripts for making the girls show available, unavailable, and on the phone. I’m such a novice that every time I get one thing figured out, I run into something else I don’t know how to do. But I’m the kind of person who learns best by doing, so even though it’s frustrating, I know I have to slog through the trials and errors. I don’t want to give too much away yet, because this is going to take me a while, but I think it will be pretty cool when all is said and done.

Had an audition the other day for a commercial, and I honestly don’t know why I bother. Ok, well yes I do. My friend called and asked me to come in, and I never turn him down. I need experience in auditions and especially on film, because…I SUCK!!! Seriously. I have no idea what to do in front of a camera and the first thing that happens is I lose my lines. To make matters worse, I was auditioning with another actress, and I’m sure she just thought it was the most terrible excuse for acting ever. *sigh*

The thing is, I’m so comfortable on stage. I have unshakeable confidence in my acting for the theatre. I don’t get why tv/film is so hard for me. And I think it has become such a big deal that I sabotage myself in auditions by not preparing properly. But then the other side of me goes, “I don’t WANT to fucking prepare for a damn real estate commercial!” I think I either need to stop torturing myself and start turning down these types of auditions, or I need to make it my goal to actually get cast in one and work hard to get it done. Ambivalence and apathy are getting me nowhere, so it’s time to hitch my cart to some different ponies.

Tomorrow I am going to a planning party for the Masturbate-A-Thon…How funny a visual is that? Lol! But I am really looking forward to meeting some local deviants who are into art and performance and sex. I have already started outlining my piece for the show, although it won’t be completely scripted since I like working off the audience. Plus, I get to be raunchier than the last time, so it’s going to be even more fun. You know me- the fewer limits, the better! *winks*

On Monday, Howard and I went to the Taste of the Nation: Portland, the equivalent of a culinary orgasm that also happens to benefit some great charities. There were yummy sips and nibbles from over 100 local wineries, breweries, distilleries, restaurants, and specialty stores. Unbelievable! It’s pretty spendy, but 100% of the proceeds go to very deserving hunger charities, so it’s easy for me to rationalize. Lol. It also gave the budding foodie in me a whole slew of new restaurants I want to try…Oooh! That reminds me I wanted to go find all my restaurant reviews from PortlandFood.org and repost them here. But it will have to wait until after I make a blogsite for new BCB phone sex vixen, Juliana…

***PHONE SEX SPOILER***
I’ve been meaning to write this for days, so here goes…Skip the rest of this entry if you live in a fantasy world and don’t understand how the phone sex business works.

This past week I got a phone call from an ex-contractor who claimed that by putting up a recent character using the same model she does, BCB had made a personal attack on her. The sheer lunacy of her complaint astounds me. First of all, I hadn’t given this person a thought in over a year at least, so she’s flattering herself to think it was an attack of any sort aimed at her.

We did not attempt to duplicate her phone sex character- the name is different, as is the persona. That’s our way of letting our intelligent customers know we’re not trying to sell them a different girl than the one they might have gotten to like who used the same model. How fun is trying to call a girl you like, only to get a stranger? It used to be common practice for companies (including BCB in the beginning) to have different operators play an existing character, but this is much less accepted now.

I feel that model choice is a hugely important part of putting together a phone sex profile, as the model is literally the online face of the operator and should be representative of her personality and sexuality. But there is a distinction between just the model and the complete character. I have stated many times before that I believe the best operators are the ones who put the most of themselves into their phone sex persona. I believe it so strongly, that I am one of the few pso’s I know who uses both my own real name and my own photographs.

Of course, I do see why this ex-BCB girl is upset. She has been misleading her callers for years and claiming to be the model in the photographs she uses. Anyone could go right now, buy those pictures, and put up a phone sex character using that model. Yet she thinks BCB doing it was a personal attack on her. Did I know she was using the pictures when I let a new operator choose that model? Yes. Just like I know that ANY web model I might purchase photos of may be used by any other phone sex or “dating” website who wants to buy the same photos. This is how it works, unless you purchase exclusive rights to specific photo sets and/or models.

Bay City Blues paid good money for that content. Why should I waste legally purchased and fully licensed photographs because she has been dishonest with her callers? I’m sitting here shaking my head, days later, because it belies such unfamiliarity with the standard practices of a business this person has been in for years now. How do you stay in a business for so long without knowing how it works?

I do believe that one of the best things we have done is to stop asking our girls to lie to clients who know better. (Have you ever seen a porno for fuck’s sake? Recognize anyone? Sheesh!) And “coming out” has been so liberating for me personally, my heart actually goes out to the sexy sirens who live in fear and therefore limit their own potential. My choice is not the decision I expect everyone to make, but I won’t be bound by their deceptions either.

All I can say is if you don’t want to be worried about being exposed as a fake or defending yourself from what you see as copycat characters, try doing something nobody else can do better than you- BE YOURSELF.

And oh yeah…