Oh Atlanta, I hardly knew you. My shows at the Atlanta fringe went very well, although the festival as a whole was lightly attended, being the first year and all. If I’d been expecting to make a lot of money, I’d be depressed and disappointed. But I only applied after I got accepted to Orlando, because I figured it would be a good warm up. Orlando Fringe is the oldest in the States, and when I did the CAFF tour with Inviting Desire, I remember all the touring artists waxing ecstatic about what a killer festival it is. Anyway, I am actually quite happy I did Atlanta and am feeling really confident about this new version of the show.
Touring as a solo artist is a whole different beast than touring an ensemble show. Each has it’s pros and cons, as I’m learning.
So last night I arrive at the home where I’m staying in Orlando, and it’s just lovely. My hosts are longtime fringe supporters and one of them is even in a different fringe show this year. They have an adorable black lab puppy, two affectionate lap cats, a cockatiel, and a macaw! Honestly, missing my kitties is one of the hardest things about touring. You talk to the people you miss, but you can’t pet a furry friend over Skype.
Anyway, my room is the library. They have a huge book collection, and piles of National Geographics on their bookcases. I reach for the magazine on top of the pile closest to me. It’s a cover story on Vietnam, dated December 1968. The year my mom was there. The year that figures most prominently in my play.
I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Synchronicity is awesome.
I leave for Atlanta in 9 days. It’s funny, because I knew when I sat down to write Threads that I was writing the show for the express purpose of touring it on the fringe festival circuit, but I still can’t believe it’s really happening. I’ve been freaking out on a constant basis for the last month, and then a couple of days ago I saw this phrase in an email newsletter I rarely do more than glance at…
Worry is negative prayer.
It just hit me that I don’t want to practice negative prayer. I don’t like what I put myself through when I do it. This strange calm came over me. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. I know my show, I know the story, and I am about to have the chance to share it with complete strangers across the continent. This is everything I am. This is what I work for and what I live for: wonderful adventures and fleeting encounters with random people. Little joys and huge discoveries. In fact, in a larger sense this is what the play is about.
I think I’m having an artgasm in anticipation. 🙂