Another Blog…
By Tonya Jone Miller | June 29, 2009
By the way, while we’re on the road, I’ll be posting on the Inviting Desire blog as well. I will probably try and put show-related musings, details, etc. there, like this post regarding a recent dream I had about the show. Then I can use this blog for personal ramblings, kinky smut, and phone sex entries. Obviously I’m not great at compartmentalizing, hence the lack of what would probably be very useful topic categories for my posts here. Lol. But anyway I’ll do my best, and you might want to bookmark the other blog if you intend to keep up on my travels…
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Canada Dates & Venues
By Tonya Jone Miller | June 29, 2009
Finally have Inviting Desire venue assignments and performance dates for all three Canadian fringe festivals. Just posted them on my Events & Appearances page. It looks like tickets are already on sale for Winnipeg and Calgary, but not Edmonton yet.
Holy crap. This is going to be crazy! I’m starting to get really excited. This is shaping up to be one hell of a summer…
I need to go figure out my cell phone situation. I’m taking my laptop and will hopefully be able to poach wireless signals wherever we go, but I still don’t know if I’ll be able to take phone sex calls. Privacy will certainly be at a premium, and even if I can manage some alone time, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to afford to use a bunch of expensive mobile minutes. Depends on what kind of deals Verizon has I suppose. I might try installing Skype too. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted as I get more details. Regardless, it’s definitely going to be harder to reach me during July and August. Email will probably be the most reliable way, or posting blog comments here. I may be able to make appointments a day or two in advance but need to play it by ear for the most part.
Whew. I better start working on my To-Do list or I’ll never be ready to leave by the 10th…
Tonya
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The Unfiltered Truth
By Tonya Jone Miller | June 24, 2009
Ok, so I’m a liar. I said I was going to update, but fuck all I’ve been busy. Don’t really feel like cataloguing the minutiae of my life right now, so I’ll give you the shorthand version. Inviting Desire is going well- new reviews up on my Events & Appearances page if you’re interested, as well as details for the Canadian Fringe Festival shows. Eleanor bought an RV for the tour, and we’re already in prep mode. Aside from that? Been up to all sorts of trouble. Here’s a peek…
Recently, I tried needles for the first time. Now, anyone who knows me, knows what a huge deal they are for me. When I started exploring bdsm play, less than a year ago, they were a hard limit. I’ve lost a lot of friends to needles, different ones yes, but psychologically the association is there. And letting someone pierce you, open you to the Universe, literally expose your insides (even if only for a nanosecond) seems to me a tremendously vulnerable state and intimate experience.
As I experienced more and explored, I knew that eventually I would want to try them. I have this annoying compulsion to not just face my fears, but to dive into them headfirst. So when I was ready, I asked the person I had always known I would ask:
“What if I asked you to put needles in me?”
The experience was amazing and not one I feel the need to share details about, except for this one moment…
Lying on my back, with only 2 needles crossed on each breast, I found myself tightening up, trying to contain the energy and emotion welling up inside me. He asked me what was going on or how it/I felt or something along those lines. I’m not sure the exact words, because I was focused so intently on holding on to myself. I couldn’t think up any answer but the truth. No filter.
“I’m holding back.” He asked why, and again the truth popped out before my brain even registered it as the truth.
“Because I’m afraid. I’m afraid if I let out everything that’s inside me, no one will want me.”
He leaned over and looked me in the eyes and said, “there is nothing that would make me not want you.”
Permission. Acceptance. Release. Gratitude.
Needles are not something I want to do regularly or casually, but I can imagine doing them again on special occasions. I am proud of myself for having the courage to face one of my biggest demons, and again reminded that speaking the truth is one of the surest pathways through fear and self-doubt to intimacy and strength.
Topics: My Life | 1 Comment »
Yes…
By Tonya Jone Miller | June 9, 2009
…I am still alive…
Just in the middle of tech and freaking out over the show opening this weekend. Did the HBO thing- so weird. I promise I will get my ass in gear and write a nice long update soon.
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Best. Birthday. Ever.
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 26, 2009
Q: What do you get the pain slut for her birthday?
A: Lunch and shopping with Mom.
A: Please Teacher!
A: Pretty flowers from a genius in Colorado.
A: Hot pervy phone sex with a Kinky Fucker.
A: A gorgeous redheaded girl to cuddle with. I (heart) boobies!
A: Party she has to do zero preparation for, courtesy of good friends.
A: Melt-in-your-mouth homemade smoked beef brisket with all the fixin’s, and a deeeelicious carrot cake. Yum!
A: Bottle of Maker’s Mark.
A: Vicious-looking thorny cane. (I was told it goes with the whiskey but thankfully escaped empirical knowledge…)
A: Vintage bdsm porn. Hells yeah.
A: A gift certificate for pampering at Dosha.
A: More pretty flowers!
A: 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die
A: Tiny sculpted figurine of a sex goddess.
A: Delicate hanging paper ornament of a sex goddess.
A: Dead sexy platform knee-high buttery soft leather boots fit for a sex goddess. (Yes, we sense a trend here…)
A: A simultaneous single-tail whipping by four (!) of her favorite Sadists.
A: Thigh caning from an Evil Bastard shared with aforementioned adorable redhead.
Q: How can you make said pain slut sad after a birthday like that?
A: Send her patient, loving, kind, generous, handsome man off on another business trip to Germany the next day. *sigh*
Q: How do you cheer her up?
A: Schedule rehearsals every day except one until he returns so she has no time to be sad.
A: Oh look…Whiskey! (Yes, there’s actually some left.)
A: She doesn’t need cheering up. She had the best birthday ever, and those feelings of happiness and being loved and gratitude will carry her through.
Yep, yep. And just for your viewing pleasure, here are a couple more pictures of me doing wicked things to one of my favorite fellow (sister?) masochists…
I hope you had a nice holiday weekend. I certainly did. *big smile*
Love,
Tonya
Topics: My Life | 4 Comments »
Diving In
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 22, 2009
We found our fourth! Her name is Adrienna, and she so fits into our ensemble dynamic that it feels like she has always been with us. Plus she’s a writer and an amazingly empathic actress. She brings a nice physical contrast and brand new energy. Yay!
We’ve been working on the new Inviting Desire script for a week or so now. Obviously, since we are performing it with four instead of seven, it is going to be a completely different show. We are doing many of the pieces from the initial run, but we’ve changed up the order and incorporated some of Adrienna’s writing as well. There are a couple of brand new pieces, and the entire framework of the show has changed. Such a struggle to say what we want to say in an entertaining way without being pedantic and preachy. Oh yeah, and we have a blog for the show now (my deadpan response: “oh goody, now I have another blog to update”), so you can track our creative process, shows, and the upcoming tour.
But anyway…Now that the new version of the script is nearly complete, we start intensive rehearsals. I have 9 hour rehearsals today and tomorrow, and 4 hour rehearsals Sunday and Monday (which just happens to be my birthday). Sunday night, some friends are having their annual Memorial Day Weekend party and have kindly allowed me to co-op it as my birthday party. This was the first year in a while I felt like throwing myself a big shindig, but yay I don’t have to do all that work. Heh. Monday I’m having lunch with my Mom, then Howard and I will probably try to squeeze in a nice birthday dinner somewhere before I have to get to rehearsal.
Did I mention in the middle of all this I managed to contract a killer cold? (No, it’s not the swine flu, but everyone seems to think it’s funny to ask.) I don’t get sick very often, and when I do, it’s usually my body saying “hey! You need to take better care of me.” So I’m going to be kind of scarce for the next few weeks, at least at night. I cannot stay logged in overnight every night, because I really need good rest to stay sane and healthy during the rehearsal process. Look for me in the morning and during the day, if you’re hankering for some delightfully deviant phone sex, or contact me to make a date. I really appreciate you being patient and making the extra effort to get ahold of me when I’m busy like this.
And I’m talking flights, money, and logistics for the shoot now, so here goes…I’m going to be on HBO’s Real Sex! They found me through this blog and approached me about doing an episode. It still doesn’t seem real to me, but it’s actually going to happen! I don’t want to give too much away, but you can be sure my phone sex expertise will be put to good use. ~grins~
Yeah, I’ve got a wee bit much on my plate these days. Lol. But I am so very grateful…
Tonya
Topics: My Life | 3 Comments »
I Am Art
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 16, 2009
Today at rehearsal my Inviting Desire castmates decided my back looks like a Jackson Pollack painting…
I love whips. *grins*
Topics: My Life | 1 Comment »
Being Seen…
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 12, 2009
I just finished what may well be the best blog entry I’ve read in years…
“Now we do it almost without thought. And it is because of people who had the courage to allow themselves to be seen.”
Simply living life openly and honestly is a form of activism. Allowing ourselves to be seen, as I do in Inviting Desire for example, opens eyes and minds. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. *smile*
Topics: My Life | 4 Comments »
New Photos!
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 11, 2009
I just posted a bunch of new pictures in my photo gallery. I took a lot of them myself, but the studio ones on the tan couch were shot by Paul Miller, and the ones of me in the white sweater drinking whiskey at the Space Room were taken by Jeff Shay. Hope you like! Also, I posted some pictures from my trip to the beach last weekend on the main Bay City Blues blog. What does the beach have to do with phone sex? Nothing. I just thought they were cool, so I shared them. One benefit of not trying to have a superpornocalifragilistic expialidocious all-sex-all-the-time website. Heh.
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Undisciplined?
By Tonya Jone Miller | May 5, 2009
I’m sitting here trying to organize my thoughts and write about all the things I’ve been up to, but all I really want to do is go watch some beefcake in X-Men Orgins: Wolverine. I’m weak-willed, I know. *grins*
But I need some escapism, because one of our ensemble members has dropped out of the Inviting Desire remount. She has very valid reasons, but the prospect of finding someone to replace her is rather daunting. It would be one thing if it were just the shows in Portland, but whoever we cast has to be able to get along with the rest of us in a van for 7 weeks in Canada. *sigh* I do believe everything happens for a reason, so I know we’ll find the perfect person. I’m just trying to relax and trust that we’ll pull it all together like we did the last time. *deep breath* By the way, info on the June shows will be up on my Events & Appearances page soon. We expect to sell out, based on previous demand, so please reserve tickets online if you plan on coming. We turned so many people away from the last shows, and I’d hate for that to happen to anyone I care about.
I’m also trying to get back into the swing of things, being more involved again in Bay City Blues. I’m pleased with how the recent changes have been received and more determined than ever to carve out our unique niche in the phone sex world. We’ve been getting tons of applications, but we have to be even more selective now, since only a special kind of operator understands what we’re trying to do. But even if it takes longer, we’re determined to hire only the sexiest, most creative and open-minded women we run across. My recent S/m explorations and the people I’ve met in the kink community have convinced me that there are plenty of sex-positive women out there who could genuinely enjoy and benefit from phone sex work. I intend to find them. *grin*
I also have a big surprise in the works, something that combines my acting experience and phone sex work. I haven’t mentioned it before now, because after a decade of my rock’n'roll friends’ sure-thing big-break stories that never panned out, I didn’t want to jinx it. But if everything goes according to plan, you will soon see me on an episode of a show on a major premium cable network. How ’bout them apples? It hardly seems real, which is probably another reason I haven’t wanted to talk about it. But I think it’s actually going to happen, and I will be sure to post details as I get them.
Oh hey look, I managed to write some. Lol. Guess I’m not so undisciplined after all. I think that means I should reward myself with a shirtless Hugh Jackman. Heh.
Topics: My Life | 5 Comments »