Happy 2009
By Tonya Jone Miller | January 2, 2009
Enjoy a friend of a friend’s creativity…
Katie’s Fabulous 2009 Astrological Predictions!*
*disclaimer! no actual astrological charts were consulted for these predictions! they are pure fabrication! imagination! manifestation!
Aries (March 21 - April 20)
The headiest of signs, everything filters through that mighty intellect of yours before traveling southward to heart and other environs. Sometimes that analysis is the wisest course; at other times it creates a distance between what you think and what you feel. My newest favorite bumper sticker is one I saw while waiting in traffic: “You don’t have to believe everything you think.” And that’s good for all of us to remember. My newest favorite song is “By The Bay” by the fantastic Glenna Garramone (here’s suggesting you check it out!). She sings, “Love who you love, trust that’s enough. No one can take that from you.” Even though you are sometimes misunderstood by other signs, the love you feel is as real and powerful as any on earth. My suggestion for you for 2009 is an acceptance of that love and trust, occasionally letting input bypass the mind on the way to the rest of the soul. My prediction for 2009? A putting away of old habits, those which no longer serve you (although it’s polite to say a nice thank you on their way out the door), and a welcoming of new, sel f-propelling choices. We all craft ourselves, every day, in just the ways we choose.
Taurus (April 21 - May 21)
My six-year-old son is a natural reader and budding poet, with little patience for my offered assistance. It comes easily to him. In contrast, I work with students every day that struggle to read, through no fault of their own. For them, each column of words conquered is a hard-won victory. I am continually inspired by the bravery and work ethic required to face this daunting task, just as I am equally inspired by my son’s willingness to use his natural gifts. Taurans have a natural perseverence (sometimes manifesting as glorious stubbornness) that is also inspiring. This upcoming year is the Year of the Ox in the Chinese zodiac; in fact it’s the year of the Earth Ox, which dovetails quite nicely with the native proclivity of Taurans to tend to home and mother soil. My suggestion for 2009 is to tackle the things (personal, social, emotional, political) that challenge you most. Out of all the signs, 2009 will be a powerhouse year for Taurans especially. I predict great accomplishment for you, both in doing what comes naturally, and in facing that which challenges you the most. I’m inspired already!
Gemini (May 22 - June 21)
The great Willy Wonka once said (or was it Roald Dahl?): “Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.” And that, lovely Geminis, is a g rand way for me to describe your indescribable aptitude for energy, ingenuity, adaptability, and eloquence. A friend recently informed me that a Doppelganger doesn’t necessarily have to be bad, much to my surprise. But then Geminis already know this, being so marvelously dual already. My suggestion to you in 2009 is to educate the rest of the world in this regard. Each of your manifestations of self have highly positive aspects, and the ability to honor all of our (sometimes) conflicting parts is often lacking in our lives. You have much to teach the rest of us. My prediction for you for 2009 involves surprise and versatility, a three-ring circus of personal venture, just the environment you naturally crave. You will be highly successful in these new and exciting pursuits. Both of you will be!
Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
I remember a Baja desert night, camping beside a protected lagoon where gray whales migrate yearly to calve and nurse their young. I remember a full moon so bright it woke me, water so still even the stars were reflected. The whales were near enough we could see their spouts from shore in the daylight. At night I could feel them still, so lovely and wise and peaceable. My baby daughter rolled over and began to nurse in her sleep. I watched the moon and the water through my tears, imagining the whale-mamas with their whale-babies, so near, so full of blessings for us all. I call that a god-moment, and I’ve had many in my life. But Cancers, you ’ve got me beat for god-moments; you seem to find them daily. So much marvelous input filling those emotional and spiritual reserves. My suggestion for you for 2009 is to find more outlets, more ways you can let the rest of us in on the magic. Dance, art, music, poetry, journaling, whatever it is, just something that feels good and right. It will be a sincere gift to the rest of the world. My prediction for you in 2009? There is some traveling to be done, some places in the world – both external and internal – that are calling your name. Bon voyage, and bring back souvenirs!
Leo (July 23 - August 21)
How boring life would be without Leos! You are beautiful, strong, generous, and entertaining. You often travel at the speed of light, and wonder why the rest of the signs can’t keep up. You are the zodiac’s true nobility; graceful, natural born leaders. One day we’ll all watch reverently your great karaoke performance in the afterlife, but until then you may have to be patient with the rest of us. My suggestion to you for 2009 is to find ways to siphon that tremendous energy into positive life-affirming projects. You carry the best of the heavens inside you and it’s a pleasure to see that shine. My prediction for 2009 is a feeling of fulfillment, finally. That something you’ve been looking for will be found. Lucky you!
Virgo (August 22 - September 23)
Daughter, age 4: “Mama, I have a worry. What if the bathtub explodes while we’re in it? What if someone pokes it with a pin and puts a tiny volcano underneath that erupts?” Some of my favorite people are full of worry, including you delightful Virgos. Sometimes our worries are founded; other times they are ridiculous tiny volcanoes we’ve empowered into something bigger. My suggestion to you in 2009 is to consider ways to turn those worries into hopes, and those hopes into positive action. We elected a president this way, you know. Smaller victories can also be accomplished. I predict 2009 will be a stellar and powerful year for you, if you’re willing to remember how marvelously and perfectly you were created, despite your pervasive doubt.
Daughter, whispering: “Mama, I have a secret worry.”
Me, whispering: “What’s that?”
Daughter: “That my body wash will make me smell beautiful!”
Me, to myself: That’s not a worry, dear one. That’s a hope!
Libra (September 24 - October 23)
A fourteen-year-old friend of mine recently turned me on to the travails of Bella Swan and her vampire love Edward. In addition to the feminist discussions it inspired, I found myself most curious about the vampire Jasper and his psychic gift for calming moods. Perhaps I latched on to this because my teenage friend is a Libra, and I think she has her own natural ability in this arena. What a gift you Librans potentially have for helping to calm and balance those around you. How much more of this is needed in the world! My suggestion to you for the coming year is to find more ways of projecting that gentle inner landscape to the world at large, reminding the rest of us to sample our own interior calm. My 2009 prediction for you is a rebalancing act of your own, relearning how to nurture mind, body, and spirit harmoniously. In doing so you will inspire others to do the same. What great gifts you have; share them joyfully!
Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)
As much as we may not like to dwell on thoughts of our progenitors procreating, the fact is that some such thing had to happen for us to be here. And while la petite mort may or may not have occurred for all parties involved, chances are high it did. In fact, for some of us it’s quite possible our parents tried many, many times to conceive us, whether they meant to or not. What a joyful life spark imbuing us all! My suggestion to you Scorpio, for 2009, is to find more ways to allow that joyful spark to be expressed. Not just in intimate moments, but in more socially acceptable ways as well. Who knows, maybe there’s an entire generation of wonderful visions and creations that are waiting to be sparked to life by you? I predict 2009 will be a successful and prosperous year for you Scorpios, as long as you keep your humility and gratitude intact.
Sagittarius (November 23 – December 22)
Some of my favorite people are Sagittarians, and here’s why: Their gregarious nature, their lightning-fast wit, their ability to size up situations (and people) and quickly separate the wheat from the chaff. But sometimes Sags, I fear you are not as keenly aware of your tremendous personal power, like super heroes on E unleashed at a rave. Who wouldn’t want that, I know? But consider this: You affect the mortals around you in astonishing ways, more than maybe you’ve even imagined. My suggestion in 2009 is to party on, oh caped one, but with some interior limits in place. Ask yourself if you’re using your substantial powers for the ultimate good, and if not, why? My prediction for you in 2009 revolves around the career momentum you’ve been building for some time now. Your mighty efforts are being rewarded, and will continue throughout the coming year. Congratulations! You’ve earned it.
Capricorn (December 23 – January 20)
I recently listened to a woman on NPR describing her hoarding compulsion. Now, instead of keeping everything she collects (twist-ties, plastic silverware, paper napkins), she takes a photograph of each item and keeps those instead. This enables her to then let the acquisitions go. It also results in a very large photography collection. Not wanting to be judgy of that which I haven’t experienced, I will just let that stand and let you come up with your own conclusions. Capricorns, my favorite worker bees, have been known to go a little overboard on the whole work thing. It is good medicine, true, and I could probably stand a bigger dose of it myself, truth be told. But any activity we focus on so intently has the potential to become a little compulsive, and compulsion tends to be a little alienating to all the other marvelous things we want to do and be. My suggestion to you in 2009 is to remember the willowy reed beside the rigid cane, because a little bending is good for the soul. My prediction for 2009 is a joyous rebirth of daily happiness; the small, the silly, the unexpected thrills of happy that you will find yourself spreading to all those around you. Nice work!
Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)
Aquarians are my favorite people-people. Their natural warmth and gentleness are unsurpassed, in my opinion. Some Aquarians have a secret, though, and I may lose my honorary membership for divulging it here, so I’ll just give some clues and let the wisest among you guess. It’s see-through, it protects their most sacred inside self, and it’s similar to that thing some of us bump our heads on trying to climb the corporate ladder. My suggestion to you in 2009? Buy some glass hinges. Reveal yourself bravely and selectively. The gift is dual, benefiting both yourself and those who love you best. I predict 2009 will be full of open doors in other ways as well. Accept the opportunities that appear and create the ones that don’t. You are deeply blessed!
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
Pisceans are the oldest sign and drive me slightly crazy with jealousy. It’s infinitely clear to me you have a linked-up bat-phone to the Divine that you can call on at any time. I like to say that Pisces know a lot and don’t even know they know it. Or at least don’t realize the rest of us don’t know it. I was recently reading Eleanor Roosevelt’s Wit and Wisdom in a friend’s powder room and came across this: “Have convictions. Be friendly. Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs. Work as hard as they do.” For sometimes, Pisces, you are sorely tested by those who don’t understand even the basic constructs of the universe, as you do. My suggestion for 2009 is to stick to your convictions with a smile on your face. Remember that the political is personal, in that each person carries their own politics in their mind and heart. For each individual that you educate – kindly, gently, wisely – you are potentially altering their world view for the better. My prediction for 2009 is that more and richer love is on the horizon – from partners, from friends, from family, and from those you’ve yet to meet. And by the way, you are tremendously loveable, in case maybe you’ve forgotten. Just saying.
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A Good Sign?
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 30, 2008
If the cost of getting laid is dropping so drastically, we’re all about to get a lot happier. The economy is looking up! *giggles* Sorry, gentlemen, it doesn’t apply to phone sex. Heh.
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Happy Happy Joy Joy
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 25, 2008
Thank you to all of my wonderful friends and callers for being the best presents a naughty girl could receive. I know it’s Christmas, not Thanksgiving, but I’m in a grateful mood…
I’m thankful for Season 4 of The Simpsons on DVD, courtesy of my Big Brother. Laughter soothes my soul when the heart and mind are weary. Like the comfort of family. *smile*
I’m thankful for the iTunes gift certificate from Miss Tonya’s Pet. Music has always been the pulse of my life.
I’m thankful that an Italian stranger randomly got me the fancy shmancy collector’s edition of Hoosiers on DVD. “Strap, God wants you on the floor.” The. Best. Sports. Movie. Ever.
I’m thankful for the sexy shoes an old friend decided I can’t live without. A naughty girl can always use a new pair of high heels.
I’m thankful for my Chicago Writer. He is muse and kindred spirit, friend always, even in absence. Few people in my life have managed that.
I’m thankful for my mother and sister, who love and accept me as I am.
I’m thankful for my kinky new friends and all the delightfully perverse things they like to do with me.
I’m eternally grateful for M, who opened the door and changed me forever.
I’m thankful for Howard, without whom my life would be incomplete. He encourages me to learn and evolve. He supports my discoveries and shares both my glorious triumphs and spectacular failures. He never means to cause me any kind of pain, yet he accepts that sometimes I want others to hurt me. He shares me with the world. And he does Christmas great. I’ve got a killer corset, tickets to the Blazers game tonight, and a giant gift card to blow at Nordstrom’s on make-up and skin care. He rocks.
And I’m thankful for me. I’m thankful that I have finally stopped hating myself for silly reasons. I sympathize and empathize with the younger me who didn’t know better, but I am celebrating my awakening. I will remember 2008 as the year I was re-born…As an actor, as a writer and artist, as a wondrous powerful new sexual entity…Mmmm, I can only imagine what 2009 will bring!
May whichever holidays you choose to celebrate be filled with joy and love…
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The Bartender
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 24, 2008
His fingers look good wrapped around a glass bottle. I try not to stare as he pours and mixes, but I suspect I am probably more transparent than I’d like to be. I warm to his boyish smile, even as I note the decisive way he dictates what I should eat and drink. I like being told…
I wonder if he guesses what I’m thinking, if he has any inkling what kind of girl I am. I imagine him sliding his fingers around my throat the way he holds the bottles, applying an even pressure to the sensitive skin of my neck. What would he do if he had me there, on the edge? Is he the kind of man who knows how to push me over? I flirt and tease and fish for the answers…
The whiskey burns going down, loosening my tongue. I don’t want to give too much away, but I am feeling bold. And curious how far he’ll take it…I let him tell me what I want, and he is right. It is good. Creamy chocolate caressing my mouth, I stifle a moan of pleasure, realizing that I am learning to turn the simplest thing into an act of submission.
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I Want This
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 24, 2008
Pardon me, but who wouldn’t want the COOLEST KINKY CHRISTMAS STOCKING EVER?!?! Makes the Godiva truffles and fancy lube I bought for Howard’s stocking seem positively pedestrian…*giggle*
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Welcome Winter
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 22, 2008
Blizzard 2008! Arctic Watch! Winter Storm Tracking! Jesus, the local news is having a field day. I remember when weather like this was called snow. Heh. But anyway, cabin fever won out yesterday, so Howard and I put the chains on the car and went (slowly) driving around the winter wonderland until it started to get dark. I think we’re going to go have another adventure today…In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a little weather-inspired erotic interlude…
snowbound
naked from the waist up
kneeling in darkness on my balcony
nipples pressed into the snowdrift
that has been sculpted by the storm
I don’t care
if anyone sees me shivering
stretched out in my perverse prayer
I am only hoping the icy cold of the snow
will burn the way his fingers do
when they twist and pinch and scratch
Happy Festivus!
Love,
Tonya
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Me obscene?
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 19, 2008
Heh. Yes I suppose I am. As I pointed out to my dear Big Brother today, it’s my JOB. Lol. The thing is, I’m accustomed to being filthy and foulmouthed for phone sex, and I’ve played some pretty raw, vulgar characters on stage, but Inviting Desire is an entirely different project. It’s weird writing fantasies for myself and others to perform in front of an audience. My nature is to write from a very personal place, so I’m very attached to the pieces I’ve created. But this is an ensemble show, and in the interest of building a cohesive, flowing narrative, it may be necessary for us all to do pieces we didn’t personally write and/or to let go of material that doesn’t find a natural place in the show. Uh huh. Letting go. More for you doesn’t have to mean less for me. Acceptance. Riiiiiiight. Damn you, Universe! You’re such a bastard, all giving me lessons to learn repeatedly and shit. *snort*
But anyway, it’s pretty scary putting my innermost sexual demons out there and claiming ownership of them. When I revealed my real name and face to my phone sex clients, it was absolutely the correct decision for me, but those encounters and fantasies are ephemeral. They live once in conversation and then only as often as we care to revive them in our memories. There is no record of them, no documentation of what was said. They are an improv or a play, not a movie. But writing things down, much less publishing them in any way is quite a bit more permanent. I wonder if I’ll regret this someday. I mean, things change. As a friend is fond of saying, everything is fluid…Will my tide shift someday? I ask myself this question, I acknowledge my fear, yet I cannot keep from doing what I’m doing. Someone has to talk about these things, and I can. So I have to.
Inviting Desire is going to be sweet and sexy and shocking and honest and HOT. We could get laughed at. We might be reviled. We could all be humiliated. We might never work in this town again. We hopefully will foster debate and discussion. But whether anyone admits it or not, I’m pretty damn sure we will inspire some blisteringly hot sex. And that’s something I firmly believe most people could use more of. So I’ll take my chances with karma. *grin* More hot smut to follow…
P.S. Super fun and erotic photo shoot yesterday. New pics soon…
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Inviting Desire: Daddy
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 18, 2008
Ooooh this was a hard one for me to write. It’s strange, because it’s one of my most resonant fantasies. I’ve been rather prolific lately as you can tell from my postings, but for some reason this one didn’t want to come out. I guess it’s one thing to say “oh I have Lolita and Daddy fantasies” but it’s entirely another thing to document them for posterity, you know? I grew up mostly without my real father, who died when I was 22. No, I was never molested or raped by him or any other father figure. I hate having to qualify this by saying that, but I also think it’s important for people to know that you don’t necessarily have something wrong with you or some tragedy in your past if you have underage and/or incest fantasies. (Key word here being FANTASY. If you don’t get that, get help please.)
DADDY (first draft)
I’ve always liked seducing older men. I lost my virginity at 13 to a 16 year-old and never looked back. Since then, I have never slept with a guy who is younger than me. I mean, what’s the point? Older men just appreciate you more. My god, the way they look at me, like I’m some kind of china doll that will shatter in their hands if they actually work up the courage to touch me. I remember the very first time I realized the kind of power a young, sexually aggressive girl can wield over grown men who should know better…
I was 15, on a supposed trip to visit a pen pal in Los Angeles, and had finagled my way into the bed of a 28 year-old rock musician. I actually spent a few days with him, holed up in his Hollywood apartment before letting slip how old I really was. It was early evening, and we were both reading in his bed when I rolled over and unzipped his pants. He’d been starting to talk dirty to me, testing the waters of my kinkiness I think, when he asked the question he shouldn’t have.
“You are one naughty, nasty little girl, aren’t you? How’d you get to be so fucking hot at 18?”
I couldn’t help myself from giggling and looking up at him. There must have been a smidgen of guilt in my eyes, because his body instantly stiffened.
“Oh my God how old are you?”
I kept my eyes on his as I started sucking him off, but his hand gripping my hair yanked my head off his cock none too gently.
“How old ARE you?”
“Fifteen.”
I will never forget the look on his face. I thought he was going to throw me off the bed and run screaming. So I did the one thing I figured he wouldn’t be able to fight. I kept sucking. I could tell he wanted to pull out, but it just felt too damn good. In the three years I’d been giving blowjobs, I’d learned a trick or two, and I loved shocking a man with my ability to deep throat. He couldn’t quite bring himself to stop me. And neither could any of the men who followed.
I love playing up my little girl persona, wearing short pleated skirts and pigtails. That “oh my god I’m going to hell” groan that escapes a guy’s lips when he sees me all dolled up for the first time, a willing participant in his taboo fantasy. It is such a turn on! Lolita has always been one of my most favorite books ever, and now I finally really truly understand the song “Don’t Stand so Close to Me” by The Police.
The first time I called a man “Daddy” during sex it made me cum so hard I was amazed. It wasn’t that I was picturing my father, no, it’s that the idea of fucking daddy was just so wrong, so sick and twisted, it was perversely compelling. But you know, it’s not always so easy to find a man who can handle it. How do you broach the subject? I mean, you can’t just wait until you’re face down, ass up with your guy behind you and hit him with, “fuck me harder, Daddy!” Trust me, it’s not a good idea. I have seen my fair share of shocked faces and shrinking dicks at that most inopportune of times. It sucks.
But every so often, the right kind of man comes along. A guy who will pull me into his lap and slip his hand up my skirt, nuzzling my neck and asking me what kind of trouble I’ve been up to with the boys at school. How easily my voice creeps up a few registers and I transform into a giggling, blushing schoolgirl. More experienced than I want to let on, more wanton than I can hide, wiggling in Daddy’s lap and feeling his cock stiffen against my ass cheeks. And Daddy can never resist his little girl. Even though we both know it’s wrong, his fingers slip under my panties and I bury an embarrassed moan into his neck.
“Oh my naughty girl is wet. What a little slut you are.”
I nod in agreement. I’m his little slut, willing to do anything to make Daddy happy.
“Did you miss Daddy?”
I nod again.
“Well then be a good girl.”
I feel his hands gently pushing me down to the floor between his knees as he looks at me expectantly. I may want to play the innocent, but I know what to do. My fingers fumble with his fly and then…Success! Daddy is hard and wanting his babygirl. I move to suck him, but he can’t wait. His hands grasp my ass, pulling me up, grinding his hips against me. I think he’s going to have me ride him, but instead he picks me up and tosses me face down on the couch, bottom pushed up invitingly.
“That’s my little girl, show Daddy what a horny slut you are. Show Daddy how much you want him to fuck you.”
I reach back to spread my cheeks, knowing my dripping slit will be exposed. His warm chuckle assuages my embarrassment. And as he eases into me I feel so…Dirty…And clean, perfect, complete at the same time. Daddy wants me. Daddy loves me. And when he cums deep inside me, I know I am the best little girl in the whole wide world.
Topics: My Life | 1 Comment »
Omg!
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 18, 2008
How much do I love the fact that someone searched “greg dulli bdsm” and found my website? THISFUCKINGMUCH! Hehehe…
By the way, if whoever did that happens to read this, email me. I think I’m in love and want you to do really perverse things to me while we listen to every Afghan Whigs and Twilight Singers album in chronological order. *swoon*
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Inviting Desire: Sense Memory Snapshot
By Tonya Jone Miller | December 16, 2008
The assignment was to write a short piece that is a sense memory snapshot of a sexy moment in time. Here’s what I came up with…
BEFORE THE KISS
Your hands in my hair, holding my head still…Tension between us as you assess the desire, the acquiescence on my face. Breath coming in little gasps, our eyes locked. Will you, won’t you, please please please. An inch closer, the warmth of your nearness. Wanting wanting wanting. See me. Need me. Take me.
I am on the edge, ready for you to topple me. I am waiting to be claimed. I cannot move, afraid to shatter the moment, needing to surrender. And then your lips are on mine and the electricity explodes through my body, coursing into my veins. I am pulsing writhing pouring myself into your kiss. I am one raw nerve, more alive than I have ever been, open to every possible sensation at once.
But it is the second before, the look in your eyes, your hunger for me that lives in my blood, in my heartbeat, in my muscles, in the very fibers and core of my being…It is an interminable instant of delicious anticipation, possibility ready to be plundered. I am caught in the precious eternity of almost about to be never ever the same again.
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