It has been so long since I wrote anything here, I don’t even recognize the WordPress dashboard anymore. I’ve thought many times about letting the website die, just not renewing the hosting or the domain name. But whenever the bills come due, I pay them. I keep thinking I might have something to say here again soon.
And then last night, a friend who is getting into stripping mentioned that she went looking for advice on getting into sex work and ran across a link to this blog. I was…proud.
I’ve rarely been at a loss for words in my life. (It’s my gift and my curse.) And I’m not at a loss for them now, I just…I’ve been enjoying not feeling like I owe my words- my voice– to anyone. For the better part of two decades, selling access to me was how I made a living. When I look at how I and other phone sex operators presented ourselves online in the early 00’s, I can draw a direct line from our personas to current social media, influencers, and “branding.”
So it’s funny to me that as I stepped back from phone work over the last five years (and eventually completely retired a couple years ago), social media has become the beast it is. Access- carefully curated access- is expected now. “Pics or it didn’t happen.” I think I got out at the right time.
I don’t know. I do have things to say, so many actually. But I have to say them for me this time, when I’m ready. I kind of don’t care who reads this anymore. (And to those of you secretly nursing the hope I’ll return to the phone lines, sorry, but it’s not going to happen.) I’m not going to stress about SEO or word count or tags or categories or any of that crap, though I’ll probably manage to do a half-assed job of it. I just need somewhere to put my words that I am in control of.
So if you happen to be here, hey. Hi. I’m back.